The hubby and I recently had a long discussion about a CNN article that reports a study showing spanking as detrimental to children. And though we have had the discussion previously, since we are getting closer to starting our own family I think we paid a little more attention.
The thing I want to point out about the study is that if found most spanking occurs in the South – conservative Christian…oh yes, welcome to the Bible belt where the tradition of “spare the rod, spoil the child” gets taken to the extreme!
We were both spanked, but Fred (born into a “non-Christian” home) was only spanked once.
One. Time.
Let that sink in…
ONE TIME!? I mean I cannot even count the number of times I was spanked. I was spanked with a hand, a belt, hair brushes (more than one of those were broken on my brother or my own behind), hand held mirrors (insert seven years bad luck joke [here]), shoes…and, oh yes, even a “switch”. Pretty much whatever was in my mother’s reach was fair game. And even as I kid, I knew a majority of those spankings were done simply out of frustration…like the time I was spanked with a flip-flop. A flip-flop. A foam flip-flop. May as well been a pillow.
ONE TIME…I’m still recovering from the shock!
I laugh about my spankings now. I mean what tops getting hit with a flippin flip-flop. But it’s those spankings that went too far that I remember. The frustration spankings. The ones that created bruises/welts and I remember getting dressed for school and picking an outfit that was sure to hide the…evidence. And that’s when Fred piped in; oh my…you were abused. No, no. NO. I think my mother did the best she could with the knowledge she had. It was a time when kids were seen not heard. And I was a rather opinionated kid…shocking, I know!
But I learn from the past. Discipline born from frustration teaches nothing. Nah-thing. Sometimes moms need to give themselves a time out. And my past is not one I want to repeat, so I’m thankful that Fred and I agree that that “rod” should be used very sparingly. Only with careful contemplation and only as a last resort. And considering the array of heels and lack of flip-flops in my closet, I’m sure our someday children will appreciate this as well.
The thing I want to point out about the study is that if found most spanking occurs in the South – conservative Christian…oh yes, welcome to the Bible belt where the tradition of “spare the rod, spoil the child” gets taken to the extreme!
We were both spanked, but Fred (born into a “non-Christian” home) was only spanked once.
One. Time.
Let that sink in…
ONE TIME!? I mean I cannot even count the number of times I was spanked. I was spanked with a hand, a belt, hair brushes (more than one of those were broken on my brother or my own behind), hand held mirrors (insert seven years bad luck joke [here]), shoes…and, oh yes, even a “switch”. Pretty much whatever was in my mother’s reach was fair game. And even as I kid, I knew a majority of those spankings were done simply out of frustration…like the time I was spanked with a flip-flop. A flip-flop. A foam flip-flop. May as well been a pillow.
ONE TIME…I’m still recovering from the shock!
I laugh about my spankings now. I mean what tops getting hit with a flippin flip-flop. But it’s those spankings that went too far that I remember. The frustration spankings. The ones that created bruises/welts and I remember getting dressed for school and picking an outfit that was sure to hide the…evidence. And that’s when Fred piped in; oh my…you were abused. No, no. NO. I think my mother did the best she could with the knowledge she had. It was a time when kids were seen not heard. And I was a rather opinionated kid…shocking, I know!
But I learn from the past. Discipline born from frustration teaches nothing. Nah-thing. Sometimes moms need to give themselves a time out. And my past is not one I want to repeat, so I’m thankful that Fred and I agree that that “rod” should be used very sparingly. Only with careful contemplation and only as a last resort. And considering the array of heels and lack of flip-flops in my closet, I’m sure our someday children will appreciate this as well.
...O-N-E (1) TIME!?...
