Slowly letting go...

At times like these, when babies like Layla Grace are dying. It’s hard to think that in the scheme of all things this is significant, but tomorrow Fred and I will be taking my sweet little Snuggles to the vet.  To be put down.  To sleep.  To euthanize.  There is not a phrase that exists to make it better.

Late last year she lost her sight and the vet discovered a significant heart murmur.  Mr. Vet said they could do a bunch of tests and we could pay them $1,000.  I said no.  I love that cat with all my heart.  But at the time she was fifteen, and I didn’t want to put her through the stress and rather painful tests just to maybe…but probably not, extend her life by a year or two.  

I have had this cat since I was thirteen.  Thirteen now going on thirty.  And when I consider that span of time.  Where I was.  Who I was.  This cat was truly there during the more significant years that molded me into the person I am today.  She was my Mama Snugs.  She gave me her love and her heart.  And I want nothing more for her to find peace and know she did her job well.

Since that vet visit she has never acted as though she was in pain.  That was all that mattered.  She has been happy, purry and pain-free.  Right now she is very weak.  Not eating or drinking.  Her breathing is faint and her heart is giving out.  I would much rather her passing come in the night.  At home and peaceful.  That is all I have ever wanted since we found out her health was failing.  She gave me so much.  She deserves to pass in comfort.  And I pray that she finds that peace tonight.