When hope belittles intuition...

we were fully prepared

to let go

then the vet gave us

{hope}

it’s just a badly infected tooth

remove it and she’ll be back to normal

my intuition told me it was time

to let go

but I held on to

{hope}

hours later the vet called back

the news was

not good

nothing could prepare me

for the way she 

...looked

the vet had never seen an animal

react to anesthesia that way

but once again the vet gave us

{hope}

maybe once we got her home

she would fully wake

but as she was placed in the pet carrier

her heart

slowed

and her color

changed

and I stopped ignoring my intuition

I told the vet it that she had been through enough

it was time

to let Snuggles go

it was not suppose to happen

that way

I wanted her passing to be

peaceful

I had it planned

I was prepared

but I forgot about the way

{hope}

can sometimes create

so much

pain

every day

I cry

bed time is the worst

my arms have never

felt 

so empty

then I awake

to my daily routine

and listen as Seven

goes around the house

howling and searching for her

Mama Snugs

and in spite of having

a house full

of beings

we all are feeling

a little

…lonely

and I know

it's just a cat

but to me

she was 

a part of

my heart.