When hope belittles intuition...

we were fully prepared
to let go
then the vet gave us
it’s just a badly infected tooth
remove it and she’ll be back to normal
my intuition told me it was time
to let go
but I held on to
hours later the vet called back
the news was
not good
nothing could prepare me
for the way she 
the vet had never seen an animal
react to anesthesia that way
but once again the vet gave us
maybe once we got her home
she would fully wake
but as she was placed in the pet carrier
her heart
and her color
and I stopped ignoring my intuition
I told the vet it that she had been through enough
it was time
to let Snuggles go

it was not suppose to happen
that way
I wanted her passing to be
I had it planned
I was prepared
but I forgot about the way
can sometimes create
so much

every day
I cry
bed time is the worst
my arms have never
so empty
then I awake
to my daily routine
and listen as Seven
goes around the house
howling and searching for her
Mama Snugs

and in spite of having
a house full
of beings
we all are feeling
a little

and I know
it's just a cat
but to me
she was 
a part of
my heart.

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