Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
My childhood best friend, Natalie. The drifting was not natural, but sort of forced by my mother which is why I’ve always felt weird about how things ended.
Looking back it was a pretty superficial relationship, but isn’t that what being a kid is about. Natalie always talked about wanting to be popular kid. A concept that was lost on me…I just wanted to have fun. But whatever, she was my friend. She made me laugh. She had an Atari. She introduced me to NKOTB. She was athletic and coordinated...two talents which I did not nor ever will posses.
My mother blamed Natalie for my bad behavior. She couldn’t see the behavior was due to things going on inside the house and inside myself. Natalie was the one friend I had, and when her family moved to another neighborhood our fate was sealed after I was forbidden to use the phone.
It’s a relationship that would have naturally drifted, but instead of going from friend to friend I had a long period of no friendships. And for better or worse that had a huge impact of the person I was to become. My mother did what she thought was best, but for a long time I was a terribly sad and lonely little girl. And I guess this may seem strange, but when I think back to that little girl I just feel really sorry for her…even though I recognize it’s a part of what made me…I hate that she missed out on the joys of being a kid.